I could sit here and watch cartoons with Kendrix all day if I could. Watching his innocent little mind play along with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse makes me so happy. He's learning so much every day. I still can't believe he'll be two in two months.As he gets older and shows more love for me each day, it makes me realize a lot.
Sometimes I start to miss good morning and good night texts from someone special. Sometimes I miss going out on dates or snuggling with someone. I sometimes miss the thought of someone loving me for who I am or what I've been through. I start to miss the thought of being cared about by someone else.
As I start to think about these things I think to myself, I'm being selfish. Selfish for thinking about my own needs before my sons. Is it wrong of me to think I'm being selfish for that? He doesn't need people in and out of his life. I couldn't do that to him. When I start to miss these things, I know Kendrix does the majority of those things. He loves and cares about me unconditionally and I couldn't ask for anything better! In the future things may change but who knows. I like it being just him and me.
Does that mean I stay cooped up in a house all day just sitting here? Oh heavens NO! I've got a wonderful job that allows me to stay home with Kendrix. I take them places like the zoo, swimming or even climb a mountain.We're trying to sell my moms house right now so the house always has to be clean and with kids we all know that's never easy. I have wonderful friends that I go and do things with or just hang out with them. I also try to go to the gym whenever possible. I'm working on myself right now and always taking care of Kendrix so when would I have time for a guy right now? Not saying things can't change but I'm saying I'm very happy and content with my life.
God has a plan for me and all I can do is trust in Him. I may not ever be able to figure out the outcome or why something happened but I know it's all in His plan. Some days the path is bumpier than others but I pray for strength to stay on the right path. Times of struggle is a time to get closer to God. I know he has a marvelous plan for me and can't wait to see it unfold.
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Much Love,
~K
Much Love,
~K
