Food for Thought

I don't know about anyone else but I like to study people and see how they work. As a single mom who finds dating next to impossible, it's funny to me now how many people are afraid of the C word. COMMITMENT.

I put that in red because there will be some people that look at that word and think of the word death. They think it's the end of their lives as they know it. It amazes me how many people flea from that word.

I've discovered in dating people that may not have been right for me, the factors that play into people's perspective of this word. Some have never seen what a relationship should look like. People don't realize how important good role models are in your lives. Yes, I may have not had that with my parents but my mom always made sure I saw my loving grand parents together or my aunt and uncle laugh and smile together. 

This day and age, nothing about relationships is the same. There is no more dating. Guys don't know to open the door for a woman. There is no more getting to know a person over a dinner. It's over a text message. Now please tell me how that is romantic or actually getting to know a person?

There are voids in people's hearts where they try to fill it by other things. Some people it's material things. Thinking they have to buy the biggest baddest thing to fill what's missing. Some turn to drugs or alcohol. No one is perfect by any means and I am no relationship expert. I can tell you that if you are not ready for a relationship and know it, don't waste peoples time. Be happy with yourself before trying to come and change someone else's life. There are some people in this world that know what they want in life and don't need idiots coming in to screw everything up. You can't be happy with anyone unless you are happy with you. A better you will attract a better next. Stay true to yourself and your feelings. Sometimes you just can't help how you feel and I get that. Just be honest about how you feel and don't hide it just to make someone else happy. Just be happy no matter what the situation is especially with yourself.

 

 

Sorry for the rambling just a lot on my mind. Goodnight world.

 

~K

I have been a terrible mom

Not in the sense that some of you are thinking.

I have been a terrible mom by not paying attention to him. Kendrix did something so cool for the first time and he looked to me to see if I was watching and what do you know I wasn't. I was on the stupid phone. It broke my heart to see Kendrix's face after he saw I wasn't watching. Nothing on my phone is more important than spending quality time with my son. Lots of people are guilty of this. We only get these times once. Today is already gone and you feel like you didn't even get to enjoy it. Quality time with our kids is so important in their development. Just don't forget to pay attention to your kids. Like I said I am guilty as much as the next and need to work on it myself but I just gotta think about how big Kendrix is and won't get the crazy 3 year old years again so make them count!

I am a terrible mom by not explaining things deeply to Kendrix.

He asked me the other day why I have to go to work. I explained it as mommy has to go to work because our new house costs money. He took it and understood it and went to school without thinking about it. When I picked him up he apparently had told his teachers that story and I couldn't believe it. Kids hear everything and replay everything they hear! It was amazing. I'm sure I could have explained it a little better but you have to explain things a way a little kiddo would understand. Kendrix and I laid in the back of the truck and looked up at the moon and stars for a little while one night. I asked him if he knew who made the stars and he said he didn't know. I said God made the stars and a lightbulb clicked. He also membered God made him to be my son. He said those exact words. God did bless me with having him as a son and quality time with him and explaining things to him should never feel like a burden. Questions are healthy for little kiddos. Our jobs as parents should be to explain things to them so they can understand how things and the world around them works. Believe me, it will help when they get bigger.

I just want Kendrix to know and understand I am trying to be the best I can be for him. He is my biggest and by far the greatest accomplishment in my life. He motivates me to do more for us every single day. As a parent I want to be better for him. Think of your kids when it comes to your actions. Think about your kids when it comes to your words and people you hang around. It breaks my heart when parents don't think about anyone but themselves. WE as parents are raising the next generation. WE as parents have the choice to raise our kids right. THINK ABOUT IT...

Much Love

~K

Nothing beats these moments

 

What It's Like

When I became a mother at 19, I never thought I would become a single mother.

If you would've told me I'd be where I am today 6 years ago, I'd probably laugh in your face and call you crazy. When you think you have everything planned out in your head the way your life is going to go, God has a way of changing things up for the better and all you can do it trust Him and go with it.

I was a stay at home mom for almost two years of Kendrix's life. When I started working again it became one of the hardest things for me to do but every day when I get off work his reaction to me coming home, keeps me going. I know I'm doing what's best for both of us and it's reassuring to know he knows that.

I became a single mother a year and a half ago. The struggles that have come with it have been nothing short of crazy. I work full time and on top of that I raise my wonderful son. Raising a toddler on your own is not easy. I think my favorite thing is to see the crazy come backs he has to say to anything I say. You know, the ones where he knows it's going to get under your skin. My patience has never been so tested in my entire life. All I can do is pray to have the patience I need and boy does it help.

Being a single mother is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Only because it has changed me in ways unexplainable to anyone. I love so much deeper. I laugh a little bit harder. I trust more than ever. I've become closer to God and saved so many friendships. After becoming single, I knew Kendrix needed me now more than ever. It became him and me against the world.

Encouragement, patience, love, compassion are all things little boys need from their moms. I'm not trying to raise my son into a mommas boy but someday he will look back at all the things I did to take care of him or the way I react to things. Someday, I will be the one he compares his future wife to. The only thing I can do is be the best role model for him that I can possibly be. Some of the best actors were raised by a single mom.

Raising a little boy has to be the best thing for me. I mean look at all the fun stuff we get to experience?! We get to play in mud, watch tons of sports, play with cars, and watch movies with a hole bunch of action in it! It can be the most trying thing in the world. The way Kendrix knows exactly what will push my buttons is beyond me but he sure knows how. He knows how to make me laugh and cry by some of the sweetest things he says. Being his mother has been the biggest blessing in my life.

I feel like being a single mom is frowned upon now a days. Do you really think all single moms purposely chose this life? NO! Responsibility sometimes is too much for the other half and that's the end of it. We can't control what another person does or feel but we make the best of the situation and roll with it. All we can do is raise our children to the best we possibly can without the other parties help. I try my best every day to make Kendrix proud and raise him in the direction he should go. A HUGE help for me would have to be my faith and my family. God has helped me through every step in raising Kendrix. The power of prayer is amazing and attending church helps Kendrix learn in more ways than just one. My family and friends help keep me going and push me to do better and I could never thank them enough for all they do.

 

Keep pushing no matter what comes your way when raising a little one on your own. It may not be easy, but it's certainly worth it.  

 

Much Love

~K

 

 

 

 

There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart - Washington Irving



Life has a funny way of working itself out.

I've had a lot weighing heavy on my mind lately. Lots of random things.

First off, I can't believe Kendrix is already 2! Where in the world has the time gone?! Seems like just yesterday I just found out I was having a boy. Now he's talking like crazy, singing along to songs, and always smiling and laughing. Time sure flies when you're having fun raising a child! Now time for the potty training to somewhat begin. (oh boy)

As I looked back on the last post I posted, I've realized God has a wonderful plan for me. I may not understand it yet but I know I trust in him. Things may not always be as easy as I make it out to be but I know with God's help I can do anything. Thinking about this tough time I'm having just makes me realize how much stronger I'm becoming through it. To me, that's all that matters. Pages have turned and there were lessons learned. 

It takes a lot for someone to admit they're wrong. It also takes a lot for you to forgive someone that has done wrong to you. Forgiving people will make you so much stronger in the end. When you truly forgive someone, you never bring it up again. Forgiveness is never easy.

Trust is never easy either. Once you've lost someones trust, it's the hardest thing ever to get back. I'm not saying impossible but it's pretty hard. If you never give them a reason to not trust you in the first place, then you'll never have to worry. I used to have a lot of trust issues. Now I got the point of I trust you till you give me a reason not to.

When you fall out of love with a person, don't ever give up on love. Just because someone didn't know how to love or hurt you or whatever, don't give up. God has amazing plans a head of you. Even though you think the factors in your life may keep you from love, they won't. If someone loves you and actually know what love means, they will love everything about you. (yes ladies, even the flaws) 

My life had a funny way of working itself out. Kendrix and I are completely happy. I hope Kendrix's dad feels the same about his life. Though we may not be together any more I still hope the very best. That is true forgiveness. 

God knows what he's doing, so TRUST in Him.

Much Love,

~K

Before & When I Became A Mother.

Before I became a mother, I never knew what true love was.

Before I became a mother, I was lost with no direction in life.

Before I became a mother, I never knew sleepless nights.

Before I became a mother, I never knew the pain and suffering I had to go through to get you in this world.

Before I became a mother, I never had been drooled on, spit up on, or thrown up on.

Before I became a mother, I had never been peed on or pooped on multiple times.

Before I became a mother, I never knew the smile on an innocent face could be so beautiful.

Before I became a mother, I never knew what my mom had to go through to raise me, but now I know.

 

Now that I'm a mother, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Watching you grow up and learn new things every day is so rewarding to me. Watching your eyes light up when you learn something new. Watching you run around the house like a maniac. Watching you love the dog and cat and the way you give kisses.

Now that I'm a mother, I've learned a lot about myself and other things. Never give up on yourself or your child. Always fight for what you love. Where you invest your time and love, you invest your life. Always rinse out bottles or they'll be super hard to wash. Always pull the chest strap in the car seat over the chest. Always baby proof the house when they start getting mobile. I've learned that I was walked over a lot but now I finally have the courage to do stuff about it.

Now that I'm a mother, I love deeper.

Now that I'm a mother, I cry when you cry and am in pain when you're in pain.

Now that I'm a mother, I smile when you smile and laugh when you laugh.

Now that I'm a mother, I've grown up a lot. Your needs are greater than my own.

Now that I'm a mother, I want to do every thing for you.

Now that I'm a mother, I never want to let you down.

I hope one day you can understand why I did things the way I did. Why your dad and I didn't work out and why I even left in the first place. I hope I make you proud every day. When you cry for momma, know I'm always right there. I'm never far away. When you give me kisses or sign I love you, you bring tears of joy to my eyes. Know that I always love you son no matter what.

 

 

Much Love!

~K, the mother of one. <3

07/24/2012

Kendrix DeWayne Thompson

9lbs 14oz 22in.

You've blessed me beyond measure, son!

 

Different things

Some times the slightest things can make you realize a lot of things.

We went and saw About Last Night on Saturday and movies kinda make you re-evaluate things. To me it was my relationship with my husband. Some days we obviously don't have the best relationship and some days it's all fine and dandy. A relationship is something that needs work. Not just from you and not just from him. It has to be from both of you. Being married young brings lots of challenges. 

Trying to please every one has always been my challenge. I love pleasing my husband and it used to be my mom and me for so long, I feel like I still need to please her too. We went to marriage counseling and the counselor said I'm a people pleaser, which is true! I love my mom to death and of course I want to please her but some times I just can't and that's just it. Some times we can't please every one. I know some day Kendrix will most likely disappoint us but it's not going to make us think differently of him. We love no matter the circumstances. That's what God wants us to do.

I look to different people for certain things. Advice wise I usually go to my mom or Micah or my cousin it just really depends on what it's about. But some times we just need to go to the person that it may be about. It'll help so much more and you'll be happier in the end. Sorry I'm just rambling. I haven't posted in a while since it was my birthday and all but I've had a lot on my mind! Thank you for being patient with me. 

Much love 

~K Thompson