Food for Thought

I don't know about anyone else but I like to study people and see how they work. As a single mom who finds dating next to impossible, it's funny to me now how many people are afraid of the C word. COMMITMENT.

I put that in red because there will be some people that look at that word and think of the word death. They think it's the end of their lives as they know it. It amazes me how many people flea from that word.

I've discovered in dating people that may not have been right for me, the factors that play into people's perspective of this word. Some have never seen what a relationship should look like. People don't realize how important good role models are in your lives. Yes, I may have not had that with my parents but my mom always made sure I saw my loving grand parents together or my aunt and uncle laugh and smile together. 

This day and age, nothing about relationships is the same. There is no more dating. Guys don't know to open the door for a woman. There is no more getting to know a person over a dinner. It's over a text message. Now please tell me how that is romantic or actually getting to know a person?

There are voids in people's hearts where they try to fill it by other things. Some people it's material things. Thinking they have to buy the biggest baddest thing to fill what's missing. Some turn to drugs or alcohol. No one is perfect by any means and I am no relationship expert. I can tell you that if you are not ready for a relationship and know it, don't waste peoples time. Be happy with yourself before trying to come and change someone else's life. There are some people in this world that know what they want in life and don't need idiots coming in to screw everything up. You can't be happy with anyone unless you are happy with you. A better you will attract a better next. Stay true to yourself and your feelings. Sometimes you just can't help how you feel and I get that. Just be honest about how you feel and don't hide it just to make someone else happy. Just be happy no matter what the situation is especially with yourself.

 

 

Sorry for the rambling just a lot on my mind. Goodnight world.

 

~K

I have been a terrible mom

Not in the sense that some of you are thinking.

I have been a terrible mom by not paying attention to him. Kendrix did something so cool for the first time and he looked to me to see if I was watching and what do you know I wasn't. I was on the stupid phone. It broke my heart to see Kendrix's face after he saw I wasn't watching. Nothing on my phone is more important than spending quality time with my son. Lots of people are guilty of this. We only get these times once. Today is already gone and you feel like you didn't even get to enjoy it. Quality time with our kids is so important in their development. Just don't forget to pay attention to your kids. Like I said I am guilty as much as the next and need to work on it myself but I just gotta think about how big Kendrix is and won't get the crazy 3 year old years again so make them count!

I am a terrible mom by not explaining things deeply to Kendrix.

He asked me the other day why I have to go to work. I explained it as mommy has to go to work because our new house costs money. He took it and understood it and went to school without thinking about it. When I picked him up he apparently had told his teachers that story and I couldn't believe it. Kids hear everything and replay everything they hear! It was amazing. I'm sure I could have explained it a little better but you have to explain things a way a little kiddo would understand. Kendrix and I laid in the back of the truck and looked up at the moon and stars for a little while one night. I asked him if he knew who made the stars and he said he didn't know. I said God made the stars and a lightbulb clicked. He also membered God made him to be my son. He said those exact words. God did bless me with having him as a son and quality time with him and explaining things to him should never feel like a burden. Questions are healthy for little kiddos. Our jobs as parents should be to explain things to them so they can understand how things and the world around them works. Believe me, it will help when they get bigger.

I just want Kendrix to know and understand I am trying to be the best I can be for him. He is my biggest and by far the greatest accomplishment in my life. He motivates me to do more for us every single day. As a parent I want to be better for him. Think of your kids when it comes to your actions. Think about your kids when it comes to your words and people you hang around. It breaks my heart when parents don't think about anyone but themselves. WE as parents are raising the next generation. WE as parents have the choice to raise our kids right. THINK ABOUT IT...

Much Love

~K

Nothing beats these moments

 

What It's Like

When I became a mother at 19, I never thought I would become a single mother.

If you would've told me I'd be where I am today 6 years ago, I'd probably laugh in your face and call you crazy. When you think you have everything planned out in your head the way your life is going to go, God has a way of changing things up for the better and all you can do it trust Him and go with it.

I was a stay at home mom for almost two years of Kendrix's life. When I started working again it became one of the hardest things for me to do but every day when I get off work his reaction to me coming home, keeps me going. I know I'm doing what's best for both of us and it's reassuring to know he knows that.

I became a single mother a year and a half ago. The struggles that have come with it have been nothing short of crazy. I work full time and on top of that I raise my wonderful son. Raising a toddler on your own is not easy. I think my favorite thing is to see the crazy come backs he has to say to anything I say. You know, the ones where he knows it's going to get under your skin. My patience has never been so tested in my entire life. All I can do is pray to have the patience I need and boy does it help.

Being a single mother is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Only because it has changed me in ways unexplainable to anyone. I love so much deeper. I laugh a little bit harder. I trust more than ever. I've become closer to God and saved so many friendships. After becoming single, I knew Kendrix needed me now more than ever. It became him and me against the world.

Encouragement, patience, love, compassion are all things little boys need from their moms. I'm not trying to raise my son into a mommas boy but someday he will look back at all the things I did to take care of him or the way I react to things. Someday, I will be the one he compares his future wife to. The only thing I can do is be the best role model for him that I can possibly be. Some of the best actors were raised by a single mom.

Raising a little boy has to be the best thing for me. I mean look at all the fun stuff we get to experience?! We get to play in mud, watch tons of sports, play with cars, and watch movies with a hole bunch of action in it! It can be the most trying thing in the world. The way Kendrix knows exactly what will push my buttons is beyond me but he sure knows how. He knows how to make me laugh and cry by some of the sweetest things he says. Being his mother has been the biggest blessing in my life.

I feel like being a single mom is frowned upon now a days. Do you really think all single moms purposely chose this life? NO! Responsibility sometimes is too much for the other half and that's the end of it. We can't control what another person does or feel but we make the best of the situation and roll with it. All we can do is raise our children to the best we possibly can without the other parties help. I try my best every day to make Kendrix proud and raise him in the direction he should go. A HUGE help for me would have to be my faith and my family. God has helped me through every step in raising Kendrix. The power of prayer is amazing and attending church helps Kendrix learn in more ways than just one. My family and friends help keep me going and push me to do better and I could never thank them enough for all they do.

 

Keep pushing no matter what comes your way when raising a little one on your own. It may not be easy, but it's certainly worth it.  

 

Much Love

~K

 

 

 

 

There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart - Washington Irving



Would you know how?

If you knew you found the one, would you know what to do or how to keep them around?

 

This world has become so infested with filth every where that it is ruining relationships and marriages. It has now become so easy to cheat with just one text message and then delete it like nothing happened. This world has changed so much over the past few years on outlooks of relationships and marriage and what cheating actually is. My thing is if you are deleting messages or hiding things from your significant other, you are already there. Back in the day you used to just have to worry if the other is having an affair with their secretary at work. Now you have tons of people who don't respect any kind of relationship who think it's ok to message them and tell them how they feel when you shouldn't! Even if the other doesn't find out, you should still feel a ton of guilt. It's sad when one tries so hard to make the other happy and the other doesn't even try.

 

So back to my question, if you knew you found the one, would you know what to d or how to keep them around? Another could be added would you want to keep them around or just screw around on them and make them never wanna be with you again? People don't wait forever especially if you hurt them in any way. Talking to another person of the opposite sex isn't a big deal but don't delete the message and don't talk about things you shouldn't be talking about. Don't get on porn site because that just makes the other person feel degraded and as they aren't doing enough. Don't get on dating websites, which why would you do that in a relationship anyways? Most importantly don't cheat. Physically. It's so sad to see relationships fall apart by all these sad and stupid reasons.

 Life is too short to lose the ones you love over selfish reasons.

 

If you know you've found the one but it's the wrong timing, would you have the guts to tell them the truth? Dragging someone along just for the fun of it isn't fair to the other person. Don't keep them around just because they are happy. If you are unhappy let the person know. Honesty is the best policy. If you know you've found the right one and it's the wrong timing, you're risking losing that person forever.

 

I just like to see happy couples and successful couples. In this day and age it's hard but if you know you found the one, don't lose them and don't hurt them. Losing trust is the hardest thing to get back. A simple hurtful thing can hurt the worst and take years to get back the trust. Think wisely, love deeply, trust strongly, and never lose faith.

 

 

My thoughts for the day :)

 

Much love

~K

a little update

When I became a mother I never thought things would be where they are now. Things honestly changed for the better though. God always knows the plan and I feel like I'm walking in his plan.

There is never a right or wrong time to find or have happiness. Though we should make ourselves happy, others come along and help the happiness as well. When Corey came a long I was NOT looking for anything at all. I think that's when we find the best kind of love is when we aren't looking for it and it just comes a long. I never thought I'd find some thing so great so fast but I'm glad I have and thank God for him every day. I don't have to tell any one how great he is with Kendrix because he just shows it no matter we are or what we're doing. I am not the only one who has found happiness either. Micah is now in a relationship too and couldn't be happier for him and her. I hope she's as good with Kendrix as much as Corey is with him. I think it is important that Kendrix knows the situation and what's going on and be mindful that he is still only 2 years old. We are all happy now and that's all that matters.

It is hard for me to let Kendrix go with his dad any where but that's just a mother thing. I'm used to seeing him 24/7 and now that the divorce is going through it has to be some compromise. I'm the one that has to get that through my head. I'm just glad Kendrix will have multiple happy families to go to.

God has a plan for all of us and his dad and I wasn't in His plan. Now we just have to go a long with our lives always keeping God first and being mindful of Kendrix also. Thank you to all who have stood by our sides through every thing and have never judged us. Co parenting isn't the easiest thing in the world to do but you gotta do it with plenty of communication. It does some times put a strain on some relationships because some do have to put their input but it's always gonna happen that way no matter what. We just try to do the best we can because we can't please every one.

Thanks to all again who understand every thing and stand by us.

Much Love
~K

Life has a funny way of working itself out.

I've had a lot weighing heavy on my mind lately. Lots of random things.

First off, I can't believe Kendrix is already 2! Where in the world has the time gone?! Seems like just yesterday I just found out I was having a boy. Now he's talking like crazy, singing along to songs, and always smiling and laughing. Time sure flies when you're having fun raising a child! Now time for the potty training to somewhat begin. (oh boy)

As I looked back on the last post I posted, I've realized God has a wonderful plan for me. I may not understand it yet but I know I trust in him. Things may not always be as easy as I make it out to be but I know with God's help I can do anything. Thinking about this tough time I'm having just makes me realize how much stronger I'm becoming through it. To me, that's all that matters. Pages have turned and there were lessons learned. 

It takes a lot for someone to admit they're wrong. It also takes a lot for you to forgive someone that has done wrong to you. Forgiving people will make you so much stronger in the end. When you truly forgive someone, you never bring it up again. Forgiveness is never easy.

Trust is never easy either. Once you've lost someones trust, it's the hardest thing ever to get back. I'm not saying impossible but it's pretty hard. If you never give them a reason to not trust you in the first place, then you'll never have to worry. I used to have a lot of trust issues. Now I got the point of I trust you till you give me a reason not to.

When you fall out of love with a person, don't ever give up on love. Just because someone didn't know how to love or hurt you or whatever, don't give up. God has amazing plans a head of you. Even though you think the factors in your life may keep you from love, they won't. If someone loves you and actually know what love means, they will love everything about you. (yes ladies, even the flaws) 

My life had a funny way of working itself out. Kendrix and I are completely happy. I hope Kendrix's dad feels the same about his life. Though we may not be together any more I still hope the very best. That is true forgiveness. 

God knows what he's doing, so TRUST in Him.

Much Love,

~K

Is It Wrong of Me?

I could sit here and watch cartoons with Kendrix all day if I could. Watching his innocent little mind play along with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse makes me so happy. He's learning so much every day. I still can't believe he'll be two in two months.As he gets older and shows more love for me each day, it makes me realize a lot.

Sometimes I start to miss good morning and good night texts from someone special. Sometimes I miss going out on dates or snuggling with someone. I sometimes miss the thought of someone loving me for who I am or what I've been through. I start to miss the thought of being cared about by someone else. 

As I start to think about these things I think to myself, I'm being selfish. Selfish for thinking about my own needs before my sons. Is it wrong of me to think I'm being selfish for that?  He doesn't need people in and out of his life. I couldn't do that to him. When I start to miss these things, I know Kendrix does the majority of those things. He loves and cares about me unconditionally and I couldn't ask for anything better! In the future things may change but who knows. I like it being just him and me.

Does that mean I stay cooped up in a house all day just sitting here? Oh heavens NO! I've got a wonderful job that allows me to stay home with Kendrix. I take them places like the zoo, swimming or even climb a mountain.We're trying to sell my moms house right now so the house always has to be clean and with kids we all know that's never easy. I have wonderful friends that I go and do things with or just hang out with them. I also try to go to the gym whenever possible. I'm working on myself right now and always taking care of Kendrix so when would I have time for a guy right now? Not saying things can't change but I'm saying I'm very happy and content with my life.

God has a plan for me and all I can do is trust in Him. I may not ever be able to figure out the outcome or why something happened but I know it's all in His plan. Some days the path is bumpier than others but I pray for strength to stay on the right path. Times of struggle is a time to get closer to God. I know he has a marvelous plan for me and can't wait to see it unfold.

Proverbs 3:5

  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.




Much Love,
~K